Tired of Sex
by tuesdaymidnight
Summary: Jasper and Edward have a great relationship and a healthy sex life, or so Jasper thinks. When Edward tells him that he's grown tired of sex, Jasper tries to get to the bottom of it. Pun intended. AH. Slash Backslash 3.0 Contest Entry.


**SLASH BACKSLASH 3.0 CONTEST**

**Title:** Tired of Sex  
><strong>Author:<strong> tuesdaymidnight  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> Edward/Jasper  
><strong>Rating, Disclaimer, Warnings:<strong> M, for language and implied sex acts  
>I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. No copyright infringement is intended.<br>**Word Count:** 5750

**Please see all entries at .net/community/Slash_Backslash_3_0/74941/14/0/1/**

_Summary: Jasper and Edward have a great relationship and a healthy sex life, or so Jasper thinks. When Edward tells him that he's grown tired of sex, Jasper tries to get to the bottom of it. Pun intended. AH._

_A/N: Thank you to coolbreeeze and OnTheTurningAway for all of their help.  
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><p>"My jaw hurts."<p>

"What the fuck?"

"I have lock jaw, Jasper. There's a reason they call this a 'job.' Finish yourself off."

Edward jumped to his feet and stormed out of the living room, leaving Jasper to sputter, "Wha- I- Ed-"

Jasper groaned in frustration. His dick started to deflate. He sat on the couch, pants around his ankles, wracking his brain, trying to think of what he could have possibly done to make his boyfriend stop mid-blow job. Usually Edward brooded a little before telling him when something was wrong, but Jasper hadn't noticed him acting any differently until two minutes ago when his usual enthusiastic oral technique sputtered to a halt. He slammed his head back against the wall a few times before standing up and following Edward's path into the bedroom. He found his boyfriend sitting in bed with a book open in his lap, pretending to read.

Jasper needed to get to the bottom of this. "What did I do? Is it me? Talk to me, Edward."

Edward did the annoying thing he always did and pinched the bridge of his nose in seeming irritation.

"It's not you, Jasper, really. Maybe I'm just tired of sex."

Jasper sputtered before finding his words. "What are you talking about? We're both young, virile men. How could you be tired of sex?" His eyes narrowed. "Is there someone else?"

Edward balked, a scandalized expression crossing his face. "No! Of course not. How could you even? I love you more than anything. I'm just not in the mood to have sex."

"But it's more than that. This is more than just you not being in the mood. You just said you were tired of sex."

"Yeah, well, that's just the way it is. If you can't deal with it, well, I don't know." Edward's voice softened, "if you want to see other people, I would understand."

"What are you saying, Edward? Are you breaking up with me?"

"No! It's not that! I want to be with you, Jasper. I just don't feel like having sex, and I don't think I will any time soon. Our life together shouldn't revolve around the art of deep-throating."

Jasper was still suspicious and more than a little hurt, but he let the argument drop for the time being. Edward went to bed early, but Jasper stayed up into the wee hours of the morning thinking through their relationship. He and Edward always had what he considered a healthy sex life. Edward was a conscientious lover, and Jasper thought he had been able to please him in return. Could Edward have been faking enthusiasm for nearly two years? Was he not attracted to Jasper anymore? Was there really no one else?

Something didn't add up.

The next day, Jasper went through the motions, but he couldn't get Edward's words out of his head. He couldn't shake the feeling that when Edward said "tired of sex" he really meant "tired of you." Edward had said he still loved Jasper, and he sounded so sincere, Jasper couldn't believe Edward had been faking the sentiment. That didn't explain Edward's new 'no sex' policy, though.

When he met Emmett at the gym late that afternoon, he was a wreck.

"Hey, Em," Jasper said, as Emmett hopped on the bike next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Dude. When you're in a bad mood, it's like there's a black cloud of emo around you, and it brings everyone around you down."

"A black cloud of emo? The year 2000 called, it wants its subculture back."

"Yeah, well, Avril Lavigne called, she wants her feelings back."

"Dude, weak."

Emmett punched Jasper in the arm. Jasper tried not to rub it, but there was a lingering sting. Jasper waited until they finished warming up before he answered Emmett's question. They were at the free weights because it was tricep day. Emmett believed in lifting muscles in isolation. It was something he brought with him from his time in his fratastic fraternity Alpha Beta Douche. Jasper finished his first set of overhead extensions when he finally blurted it out.

"It's Edward."

"Trouble in paradise?"

Jasper shot a glare at Emmett. Emmett frequently mocked him and Edward for their monogamy. Emmett seemed to be under the impression that being a manwhore was the only way to authentically be a gay man.

"He says he's tired of sex."

"Shit!" Emmett said as he dropped his barbell, narrowly missing his right foot. "You can't tell me something like that when I'm lifting."

"You asked."

"Yeah, but I thought it was going to be something like he wants to adopt your first baby from China and you want one from Transylvania."

"We're not having kids! Wait, Transylvania? Have you ever heard of anyone adopting a baby from Transylvania?"

"I don't pay attention to that shit."

"Do you even know where Transylvania is?"

"Of course, it's in... uh, Siberia?"

"Not even close. And Siberia's not a country."

"Well, Carmen Sandiego, you tell me."

"It's a region of Romania."

"That's close to Russia!"

"Yeah but you said Siberia, and anyway, you'd have to get through the Ukraine first."

"The Ukraine," Emmett snickered.

"What?"

"I don't know, it sounds kind of dirty."

"I don't even want to know."

Jasper laid back on the bench while Emmett handed him some dumbbells, so he could start his French presses.

"You think he'd cheat?" he asked, after he finished his set.

"Are you kidding me? Edward's like a Victorian gentleman. I can't believe you got him to fuck you without putting a ring on your finger first."

"This isn't Canada, dude."

"That's what I'm saying. I'm surprised Edward hasn't kidnapped you and taken you to Canada. They don't have a residency requirement, you know."

"And how do you know this?"

"Ugh. Remember Crazy Mike?"

Jasper started laughing. Emmett fucked the guy once and Mike tried to cling to him like herpes to Paris Hilton ever since.

"Crazy Mike proposed to you?"

"He suggested we go up to Vancouver for a camping trip and then not-so-subtly suggested that while we're there we could get hitched. I'm a good fuck. Hell, I'm a _great_ fuck, but enough's enough. That kid is like a stray puppy."

"It's your fault. You fed it and now it keeps trying to come back for more."

"Hell yeah, I fed his ass my 9-inch cock."

"You know 9 doesn't come after 4 on the number line, right?"

"Fuck off, and you're not getting out of another set."

Jasper rolled his eyes but worked through another 10 reps. Emmett was looking at him curiously when he sat up.

"What?"

"We're going to do the only thing we can do. Tonight, I'm getting you drunk. Dead Kennedys drunk."

"Huh?"

"Too drunk to fuck."

"I don't get it."

"You and your country music," Emmett shook his head. "We're going to Breaking Dawn tonight, and we're not going to talk about Edward."

"I've heard that place sucks."

"What? Who said that? It's like a fucking free-for-all there – twinks, bears, leather. They've got it all. Some dyke gave birth there last week."

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah, Jake was telling me about it. He was there when it happened. Apparently dancing helps induce labor."

"You're an idiot."

"It's true. The kid was like a week late, so this chick goes to the club with her girlfriend. Water broke right in the middle of the dance floor. Baby was out before the paramedics could get there."

"Sounds unsanitary."

"Too late, you're going. You can't give me the work excuse either, Mr. 'I'm a teacher so I get summer vacation.' Now spot me."

Jasper and Emmett finished their workout and then hit the sauna. Jasper wasn't really in the mood to face Edward so he went back to Emmett's place, texting Edward to tell him where he was and not to wait up. They ordered some takeout, watched the Giants lose again, and then spent a solid hour afterward bitching about their bullpen. Jasper tried not to think about Edward, but it was hard to put him out of his mind, especially with Emmett going on and on about the Giants' pitching and catching deficiencies.

Emmett did his best once they got to the club though, giving a running commentary on the all the men there he had slept with. After two rounds of beer, Jasper already knew more than he ever wanted to know about Emmett's proclivities. Just as Jasper suspected, Breaking Dawn was really kind of lame. Though Emmett was right that there was something for everyone, it was more like the whole place had an identity crisis. But the booze was cheap so Jasper wasn't complaining, and Emmett did prove to be distracting.

It was after 3 o'clock in the morning when Jasper stumbled out of the cab, but he managed to get upstairs, strip off his clothes, and crawl into bed without too much trouble.

"Jazz..." Edward mumbled when the bed shifted under Jasper's weight.

"Went out with Em. Got me," he hiccuped. "Drunk like a Kennedy."

"Like a Kennedy?"

Jasper hiccuped again loudly, "You know, so I'd get whiskey dick."

Edward started laughing so hard the bed shook.

"Oh, babe," Edward sighed. "Am I going to have to introduce you to Jello Biafra?"

"Huh? If I ate jello now, I think I'd puke."

Edward chuckled again, but Jasper didn't hear it. He was out cold.

Jasper woke up the next morning feeling like he had a mouth full of cotton balls and a train running through his skull. He fumbled around trying to find his cell phone to check the time when his hand hit a glass of water. Rubbing his eyes, Jasper sat up and found a bottle of aspirin next to the glass. Edward must have left them for him when he got up. It was the type of caring gesture that made Jasper even more confused by Edward's sudden lack of desire for intimacy.

Jasper gratefully drank the water and then stumbled into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the scent of the bar still lingering on him. The thoughts that had been forgotten the night before still existed in daylight, so his mind drifted to Edward until the water started to run cold. At least he had work to distract him. The students' last day had been a few days before, but Jasper still had some work to finish and staff meetings all afternoon, so after a quick breakfast, he headed into school. He occupied himself for the rest of the morning, finished up the last of his grading and cleaning a lot of paperwork off of his desk.

At lunch, he met up with Alice at a little Mexican place near the school.

"So what's wrong?" Alice asked before she even sat down.

"Why does something have to be wrong for me to ask you to lunch?"

"Because that's the only time you ever ask me to lunch."

Jasper rolled his eyes. Of course, Alice was right. He _had_ asked Alice out to lunch because he wanted her take on his current situation.

He decided not to beat around the bush. "It's Edward."

Alice's eyes widened.

"You two are like the gay Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy! The gay Spiderman and Mary Jane! The gay Harry and Ginny... wait, bad example. Anyway, what did you do?"

"Why do you think _I _did something?"

Alice put her hand on Jasper's arm and batted her eyelashes up at him. "Honey, if anyone is going to screw things up between you and Edward, it's not going to be Edward."

"Hey! I resent that!"

"It's nothing personal, it's just that Edward is so adult. He's had a 401(k) and a stock portfolio since he was 18 or something. I bet he even irons his socks."

"He does _not_ iron his socks, well, maybe his dress socks. Wait, you think Edward is boring? You know he was in a punk band in college."

"No, no, you know I love Edward. He's a great guy! He just seems like such a grown up. What I mean is, he's not going to play games with you or jerk you around."

Jasper chewed on his straw thoughtfully before replying, "Exactly. He _doesn't_ play games. That's why I don't understand what's going on."

"What happened?"

Jasper hung his head down, unable to meet Alice's eye. "He doesn't want to have sex with me anymore."

"What?"

"He stopped, mid-blow job mind you, and told me he was, and I quote, 'tired of sex.'"

Alice sat back and blinked. It was hard to catch her off-guard, but she looked absolutely dumbfounded. When Jasper opened his mouth to say more, she put up her hand to stop him. He watched as her eyes narrowed, like she was concentrating very hard to put the pieces together.

"You know, I really, really hate to think this," she said slowly. "But maybe he's sick."

"You think he's sick?"

"Well, if he's lost his sex drive it could be the sign of a medical problem."

"Oh god," Jasper started to hyperventilate. "What kind of medical problem? You think he has cancer?"

"Jasper, sweetie, calm down. It's probably not something that serious."

"It has to be something serious enough to stop having sex because of it!"

"Maybe it's just crabs or herpes or something."

"You think he slept with someone else?" Jasper's voice was loud enough that other patrons were starting to stare.

Alice reached out to grab his hand.

"Edward is definitely not the cheating type. Forget I even suggested it. There must be some other explanation. A lot of things can cause a lowered sex drive."

"But nothing like this has ever happened before."

"Does he take any medication?"

"Just for allergies."

"Hmm," Alice mused. "You should check the side effects on it, just to be sure. That's probably all it is."

Alice did the best she could to reassure Jasper over the course of lunch, but it was obvious he was now preoccupied. After lunch, he returned to school, but he was so worried about Edward, he barely made it through the staff meetings.

When he got home, he began making dinner to distract himself, but as soon as it was in the oven, he started pacing back and forth the length of the kitchen. Finally when the front door creaked opened, Jasper hurled himself into Edward's arms, planting a searing kiss on his lips.

"Well, it's nice to see you too, Jasper," Edward said, trying to disentangle himself from his boyfriend.

Jasper clung to him though, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in Edward's shoulder.

"Edward?" he asked, his words muffled by Edward's shirt.

"Yes."

Jasper pulled back a little to look at his boyfriend, "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Of course, Jasper."

"I mean, like with your health. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"I'm fine. I promise. Where is this coming from?"

"Well, I was talking to Alice today." Jasper ignored Edward's soft groan and kept talking. "I told her about your new sex policy, and she gave me the idea that maybe you were sick or something. Sometimes medicine lowers your sex drive."

"Oh, Jasper," Edward said softly, cupping Jasper's face in his hands. "I'd tell you if something was wrong with my health."

"I know that," Jasper sighed. "I just want to understand where you're coming from."

Edward released Jasper and stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest standoffishly, in deep contrast to his previous loving gesture.

"I've just reached a point in my life where I'm more interested in pursuits of the mind than pursuits of the body."

Jasper rolled his eyes and was about to argue, but the oven timer rang and he decided to drop the matter temporarily. He still fully intended to get to the bottom of Edward's sex strike, but for now, he was just relieved Edward was okay.

The next day, Jasper resorted to the big gun, Edward's best friend Bella. Bella and Edward were both from a tiny town in the Pacific Northwest. They bonded as the only gay kids at their school and had both come to California for college. It was through Bella that Jasper knew Edward; they were introduced when Bella and Alice started dating. Though Jasper thought Bella was a sweet person, they never really hung out unless either Edward or Alice was present.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked immediately when Jasper appeared in her bakery that morning.

"Why does everyone ask me that?"

"For one, you wear your heart on your sleeve. For another, you have never come into this bakery without Alice or Edward in tow."

"Well, I don't really eat sugar," Jasper said defensively. He had always been a little chubby growing up, so he had adopted a fairly strict diet and workout policy as an adult. "Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, I know you're a great baker, and all."

Bella smiled, "I don't take offense. I've gotten used to the vanity of gay men."

"Hey! Now, that's not fair."

"Really, Jasper? Have you opened your eyes lately?"

"All right, fine, fine. I don't have an argument here."

"I'm just teasing you, Jasper," Bella said with a gentle smile. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong with Edward?"

"How did-" Jasper started, before shaking his head. "You know, this is actually kind of embarrassing."

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but may I point out that you're the one who came to me."

"You know Edward better than anyone."

"I have known him a long time."

"I know it's not fair of me to ask you this, but has he said anything to you lately about being unhappy with me?"

"Are you kidding me? Edward _adores_ you. He still swoons over you like a schoolboy. It's a little disgusting."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Jasper grinned in spite of himself, until he remembered why he was seeking Bella's help in the first place.

"Well if that's true, then this is even more confusing."

"What happened."

"Edward, he said, well, he said he's tired of sex."

"Tired of sex? That doesn't even make sense."

"He said he was more interested in 'pursuits of the mind.'"

Bella opened her mouth to say something but then snapped it shut. Her eyes grew wide, and she let out a heavy sigh, "Jasper, you idiot."

"What?" Jasper was surprised at Bella's assertion.

"Have you checked the calendar lately?"

Jasper pulled out his cell phone and opened his calendar.

"Oh, shit."

It was June 9th. That meant Edward's 30th birthday was in a week and a half. The fact that he was five years older than Jasper never seemed to bother him before. It wasn't like five years was that big of a difference. They met when Jasper was 23 and Edward was 28. Occasionally Edward would tease Jasper when he didn't know the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video or remember rotary telephones, but it was all in good fun. Or so Jasper thought.

Clearly though, Edward was hung up on getting older.

Bella assured Jasper that Alice was already in the throes of party planning for Edward's birthday, but it wasn't reassuring. Edward never liked celebrating his birthday. Of course, that was partly because he hated being at the center of attention. He would be gracious about Alice's gesture, but it would make him uncomfortable, especially since turning 30 was kind of a big deal.

Jasper didn't know what to do. He couldn't just confront Edward about it. He would never admit to being sensitive about his age.

Jasper decided instead to go for the subtle approach.

That evening when Edward got home, Jasper tried to act like nothing was wrong. He suggested ordering takeout, and handed Edward their stack of menus.

Once they were sated and full of Pad Thai and spring rolls, Jasper decided to enact his plan.

"Do you want to watch a movie tonight?"

"Sure."

Jasper pretended to sort through the On Demand movie choices, but the truth was he had already made his selection. The movie itself was thoroughly depressing, but truthfully Jasper wasn't really paying attention to it.

"Clive Owen is really hot, isn't he?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess so."

"You guess so? I mean, he's almost 50 and he looks incredible."

Edward gave a grunt in response, but Jasper couldn't tell if he were agreeing or just trying to get Jasper to shut up so he could pay attention to the movie.

"We're lucky, you know," Jasper ventured.

Edward sighed and pressed 'pause' on the remote. "Why? Do you have Clive Owen hiding in the bedroom or something?"

"No, it's just that men seem to get better with age."

"Oh." Edward's reply was flat.

Jasper decided not to push it any further and snuggled up against Edward while they finished the movie instead.

The rest of the week, Jasper tried to drop as many hints as possible about how sexy he found older men to be. He forced Edward to watch _Ocean's Thirteen_ to show off his adoration of George Clooney and Brad Pitt. He also made it a point to turn on CNN every night. It was probably too much media saturation, though, because Edward started to get suspicious of Jasper's crush on Anderson Cooper.

"I'm starting to think you're going to leave me for him."

"He's sexy, Edward. Even you can admit that."

"He's alright."

"Alright? He's a silver fox!"

Edward looked at Jasper curiously but didn't say anything.

Because Jasper wasn't getting any when he had been used to almost daily sex, he had to resort to jerking off. The truth was, Jasper really did like older men, and they definitely frequented his fantasies. Every morning that week after Edward left for work, Jasper would pull up the previous night's _AC360_, mute it and watch Anderson look extraordinarily sexy as he mouthed the words to news stories. Jasper had to dig out his favorite dildo from where it had been relegated to the top shelf of their shared closet. He'd fuck himself with it while picturing the news anchor's lips around his cock. One morning he switched to _The Daily Show_ instead and found Jon Stewart just as satisfying. When he started getting aroused watching Brian Williams read the news that evening, he started to wonder if he just had a full-fledged news anchor fetish.

Unwilling to tackle the psychology behind this development, he became even more desperate to get his Edward back, the Edward who used to wake him up with blow jobs, the Edward who would take him on any surface in the apartment right then and there because he couldn't wait another second to be inside Jasper, the Edward who would wear nothing but a pair of bright pink briefs to Pride and blatantly adjust himself in front of unsuspecting tourists. Edward was always a little bit of a stuffed shirt, but he had an adventurous side that came out, so to speak, in his sexuality.

On Friday, Jasper finally told Edward that his friends were planning on throwing him a party the next day. He had been dreading the moment, but he had to do it. Alice wanted it to be a surprise party, but Jasper knew his boyfriend better than to allow that.

Edward grumbled about it all day on Saturday, to the point where Jasper went out for an extra run just to get out of the house.

By the time they headed to the party, Jasper was just ready to get it over with. They walked into Alice and Bella's place without ringing the bell. Edward didn't want to bring extra attention to himself. He figured that Alice would probably make everyone shout 'surprise' even though he knew about the party, or find some other way to put him on the spot. Jasper was inclined to agree.

As soon as they walked through the front door, they were assaulted by, of all things, dinosaurs. There were dinosaurs everywhere – balloons shaped like dinosaurs, a 'Happy Birthday Edward' banner with tyrannosauruses on it, and when they wandered into the kitchen, there was even a brontosaurus cake sitting on the counter.

The kitchen was empty save for Emmett getting a beer from the fridge, so he was the first to spot them. Curiously, he was wearing a party hat with cartoon dinosaurs all over it.

"Hey, E! How does it feel to be over the hill?"

"That's 40," Jasper tried to cut Emmett off at the pass. "Edward's only 30."

"And I don't turn 30 until Monday."

"Well, when my cousin turned 30, she started having all kinds of health problems. She started getting these crazy stomach pains, and her doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. She had to go see a bunch of specialists and get all kinds of tests done."

Jasper was making the universal sign for 'shut the fuck up' behind Edward, but if Emmett noticed, he took no heed.

"Did they ever find out what was wrong?"

"Yeah, I forget what it's called, but now she's on about ten medications and is probably going to have surgery. Getting older sucks, dude."

"So," Jasper interjected loudly. "What's with the dinosaurs?"

"Yeah!" Emmett came over and clapped Edward on the shoulder. "It's a 'Things that are older than Edward' party! We couldn't think of anything else besides dinosaurs!"

Edward gritted his teeth, "Thanks."

Jasper shot Emmett a glare and grabbed Edward's hand, leading him out to the back deck where Alice and Bella were gathered with the other early-arriving guests.

Everyone greeted Edward enthusiastically, and Jasper sat down warily beside him at the table. Moments later, Alice set two large margaritas in front of them which raised Jasper's spirits immensely. A drunk Edward was a much more complacent Edward.

It seemed as though Alice had invited everyone Edward was even loosely connected with. Jasper and Edward had barely sat down when people started arriving in droves. For a couple hours, Jasper let himself enjoy the company of his friends and acquaintances. He was much less social during the school year when he was bombarded with lesson planning, grading, and quiz bowl coaching, so it was nice to catch up with his circle of friends. He only briefly left Edward's side, though, keeping one eye on him the whole time.

As the party wore on, Edward looked far too downtrodden and far too sober for Jasper's liking. He knew Edward was trying to be a good sport, but every time someone wished him a happy birthday, Jasper could see him wince. He was pretty sure no one else could tell how uncomfortable Edward was, but Jasper knew him too well.

Jasper vainly entertained hopes that a party would at least make Edward feel cared for and respected. Everyone loved Edward, and the turnout to his party was a testament to that, but it wasn't helping him snap out of his stupid, getting-older funk. When he turned down a second margarita, Jasper knew he was definitely not getting laid tonight, and it really started to sink in that he had no way of knowing how long Edward was going to refuse him.

Eventually, watching Edward pretending to enjoy the party became too much to bear. It didn't help that Emmett kept making jokes about him getting old, oblivious to Edward's discomfort. It also didn't help that Alice kept referring to him as "the birthday boy."

She was putting candles in the cake when Jasper intervened, grabbing Edward and pulling him through the house to the front porch for some privacy.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked, faking innocence.

"You're miserable, Edward."

"No I'm not!"

"You are, too."

"You know I appreciate the trouble Alice and everyone went to putting this together, it's just..." he trailed off.

Jasper couldn't hold it in anymore; he needed to confront this. "Edward, I know why you don't want to have sex anymore."

Edward cringed but didn't say anything. Jasper took it as a sign to continue and reached out to grab Edward's hands.

"You know that our age difference doesn't bother me, right? It's really not that big of a gap."

Edward sighed heavily. "You say that, but you're not even 25. You've only been out of college two years. When we go out, guys are always hitting on you. You could take your pick. What would you want with me? I'm just going to keep getting older."

Jasper shook his head in disbelief. "Edward, you're the sexiest man I've ever seen in my life. Just as many guys hit on you when we go out, and you know it. What has gotten into you?"

Edward turned his head, avoiding Jasper's eyes. Jasper released Edward's hands and forced Edward to look at him.

"Tell me."

"Okay," Edward took a deep breath. "I found a gray hair two weeks ago."

Jasper's jaw dropped.

"A gray hair! You stopped having sex with me because of one gray hair!"

"Well, that wasn't the only reason, but that's what set me off, yes."

"I don't believe you!" Jasper shouted.

"Why are you getting so upset? It was really traumatic for me!"

Jasper started pacing back and forth across the small front porch. All of the worrying he had done and the trouble he had gone through to figure out what Edward's problem was, and it turned out he was freaked out about a gray hair? Jasper had been trying to reconcile the idea that he might not have sex again while Edward was flipping out for the sake of vanity? He was jerking off to newsmen while Edward pouted about something so trivial? What was almost worse than all of it was that he knew he couldn't make Edward feel any better about it. It wasn't like he could reverse the aging process for him.

Jasper stopped dead in his tracks.

"I think there's something I need to tell you."

"What? What is it, Jasper?" Edward's voice was full of concern.

Jasper took a deep breath. "I'm not proud of this. And I'm really sorry I've kept this from you for so long."

"You've been keeping something from me?" Edward quickly masked the shock from his face.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I love you so much. Just hear me out." Jasper waited for Edward to nod in encouragement. "You know my monthly appointment with the chiropractor?"

"For your back injury when you fell off the horse on your uncle's ranch," Edward filled in.

"Well, I did fall off a horse four years ago, but the truth is, my back's fine now."

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"I don't go to the chiropractor every week. I- I go to the salon."

"Salon?" Edward's eyes widened.

"I started going gray when I was 21. I'm so self-conscious about it, I've been dying it ever since."

"You what?"

"You freaked out over one gray hair. One. Well, you should know you're dating a man with a much more unfortunate case of premature graying."

"I don't know what to say," Edward said, staring at Jasper in disbelief.

"It bothers you, doesn't it? I'm not this hot young thing you like to tote me as. If you-"

A pair of reassuring lips were on Jasper's in the next moment, cutting off his lament. Jasper clutched onto Edward tightly as he deepened the kiss. He had no idea what this revelation would bring, as he effectively had been lying to Edward the whole time they had known each other, so he clung to Edward in desperation, pressing his body to fit against him.

Edward broke the kiss, stepped back, and leaned against the porch railing, grabbing Jasper's hand to keep contact while Jasper settled beside him.

"I'm sorry I've made such a big deal about this. I never meant to make you feel bad because of it," Edward started.

"You stopped having sex with me, _of course_ I was going to feel bad."

"You're just so gorgeous and young, and at some point our sex drives aren't going to be in sync with each other. Maybe I was subconsciously trying to give you an out."

"That was stupid, Edward."

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry I flipped out on you." Edward squeezed Jasper's hand as he continued, "I'm even sorrier you felt like you had to hide your own insecurities from me."

"So it doesn't bother you that I have gray hair?"

"What? Jasper, of course not."

"And you know that I wouldn't find you any less attractive if you had a head full of gray hair. You can color it or not, it doesn't matter to me. I love you, not your hair."

"I love you, too."

Edward tugged Jasper into another kiss, breaking it to let their foreheads rest against each other.

"Maybe we should just go gray gracefully and prematurely together."

Jasper pulled back and raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"Are you kidding me, Edward? This is San Francisco."

_The End._


End file.
